Like many other people my age, I was born into this world with a well-stable family with a working Father and Mother. For the majority of my existence to date, I just assumed jobs were an adult thing and they were easy to get, nothing more. Boy, life didn't prepare me properly for what was ahead.
Lets do this!!!
Fast Forward to my Highschool years and we're eventually introduced to the idea of looking and applying for jobs so we can become "Successful, independent individuals" in society. Awesome, good. But at the time, I was maybe about 12 or 13 and didn't give a shit as I was too busy being young and free along with not looking forward to being a responsible adult. It was like having someone come into your room, invade more of your privacy than you'd like, prep you up and ship you off to military school before you can oppose to the idea.
As I got older, the good ol' Bank of Mum was a little drier than as a young child. I could no longer wrangle my mums leg and beg for a "Big Toy" or a "Wee Toy" and at the sweet age of 14, I actually got my first job, not by looking for it and not buy sending a CV (or make one for that matter). No, instead I simply called the local Advertiser company and gave them my details and let them know I wanted the job - I didn't have to say why, I didn't have to say "delivering papers was my passion in life" and I didn't have to list them a bunch of bullshit reasons on my employee skills for the simple fact that I was indeed 14 and never had a job beforehand. I did it simply to have my own money - and it felt great! By now, you may have gathered it was a Paper Job - I was indeed a Paper Boy....twice!
I did the job for a good wee while and for the most part, it was okay. I just had the worst part of Grangemouth to deliver in and had to enter more smelly, dingy wee junkie-riddled flats than I was comfortable with, but I was more than willing because I was earning money that I could spend on silly wee daft shit, which always brought a smile to my face at the end of the day.
Eventually it was time to move on and make the next step in my Paper Boy career and instead of working only one day as I did in my last Paper Job, I was now working Seven, count them - Seven days a week!!! Realistically, it wasn't a great upgrade, since it was six more days of work for only a little bit more of money - Going from roughly £17 in my last one to roughly £26 with this new one.
I was now working for a man called Jack Frew, a man who's reputation precedes him - in short, he's a major toss-pot and everyone & their dog knows it. It wasn't all bad though, I mean he was only in during the Sundays and Mondays and every other day, a man named Jerry (I think) was running the place - he was literally Jacks polar opposite. He was nice, friendly and a respectable human being that didn't talk to his teenage employees like degenerates. Like the last job, it was simply for the money (and a new route). Like the Advertiser job, I didn't have to kiss up to them, I didn't have to submit a CV and I didn't have to list a bunch of bullshit as I was barely a working man. Both of these jobs were cash in hand and were very useful to kids like me, which is probably why these paper jobs were all done by males.
I did the job for a fair few months as I got an Xbox 360 just after christmas, but it was an Core model and featured no Hard Drive (for those that can remember that far back) and so I saved up about 3-weeks pay to buy one, cos y'know...they were £70+.
But aye, I did the job for a fair few months before my friend lost his route there. So eventually, I was given his route on top of mines. Did I get paid extra for it? NO!!! I wasn't trying to be self-entitled, but every other kid in the job - whenever they got additional routes, they got paid extra for it and so initially, when I did, I was excited at the prospect of earning more as like I said, I was only doing it for the money (kinda like when actors take the shite roles). I earned my next couple pays with no addition, I ignored it at first and from there I continued to earn no more than my original pay. I slowly began to hate the extra route. Reasons being usually, it was more effort and I had to deliver all of these papers before school. Eventually, I just couldn't keep up any more and got so many morning mix-ups with the papers. Jack eventually caught on and fired me and thus was the end of my Paper Boy career...
It's a sad world, isn't it?
Like all good people, I didn't let the loss get to me. I didn't really acknowledge it for very long after that. Realistically, it phased through me because the boss was a cigar-smoking arsehole with an ego bigger than his bulbous nose. (Full Disclosure - I'm not angry about the loss to this day, I just don't like bad people)
From there, I just continued with school with the hopes of leaving when I turned 16, which I had about a year till that moment.
Fast Forward again! I'm now on my way to turning 16 and if I was honest about the time, I didn't have the slightest clue where I was going or where my life was going to take me! I spoke to a career advisor and she suggested applying to College and looking into the Princes Trust as as well in case I didn't get into College. I did just that. Can you guess which one I got into? I'll give you a hint....it wasn't College.
So in January, I was part of the Princes Trust and did 12 weeks of Team Building, Certificate Building, Building and Sandwich Building (to eat, yum yum). It was actually pretty great and I say it made me that little bit more of a confident individual, I met people who I would normally avoid if I saw them in a street prior to this course and they became like a family to me - closer than I ever was with any classmate throughout both Primary AND Highschool - in that respect, that's kind of embarrassing, but they were a cool wee bunch. I gained many certificates (which I still put on my CV, but their probably useless now). A few people were knocked off the course for bad conduct and such, but I made sure to get through this and see it through, no way I was getting kicked off it, I was boy-scouting this course. I did just that and finished the course with a snazzy certificate for completing the Princes Trust (with a nice wooden frame too).
It was like that, just without the uniform.
We did work experience in the Princes Trust and it was not too bad. The first week was pretty good, I worked at a little place called GMS Recordings in Polmont for a week, but they got too busy and I couldn't do the second week. So I went on to another place called Grangemouth Enterprises. I enjoyed it more there as in GMS, I was simply sitting at a desk for 8 hours while at Grangemouth Enterprises, I was working more hands-on for the same amount of time. This soon led me right into a job there after the Princes Trust, reason being that both were ran by the Falkirk Council. Our Advisor in the Princes Trust, Caroline Barclay, got me the job there! Again, I didn't have to hand in a CV, I didn't have to attend and Interview and I didn't have to bullshit my way to it (Seeing as it WAS my first proper job). But she saw that them and myself included were capable enough to have a job and majority of the people that completed the Princes Trust then went into a job. Despite gaining this job in the Princes Trust, I still really wanted to go to College as I would continue to reflect on my Standard Grades and feel I could do more and better myself.
The summer holidays passed and during that, I worked at Grangemouth Enterprises five days a week. It was okay, nothing too difficult - usually just heavy lifting, fixing computers and working in a very very dirty environment.
In the later half of the summer, I attended an interview and bish, bash, bosh - I got accepted into the course I wanted, I then left Grangemouth Enterprises feeling like I was really getting my life together! Oh boy, was I wrong....
Strap yourselves in! We're going for a Bumpy ride!!!
I apologise for making this so long, but I type as I think.
Now, throughout my five years at College from 2009 - 2014, I mostly ignored applying for jobs but would do so over the time in the five College courses I attended. These courses were Pathfinders and Newstart which were both Stepping Stone courses and this led me on to Access to Creative Industries. For the majority of that time, it was like doing Highschool again, only better since there were no assholes, no bullies, no general cunts - College felt like a haven and every now and then, I continued to apply to jobs without any real success.
I then got into the NC Sound Production course as I had finally decided what I wanted to do with my life - I wanted to be a composer! Why? Simply because I loved the music composed for TV and Movies, it was something I felt passionate about and wanted to do!
The NC Course? No problem, got through that! The next step now was the HNC, which was the first year of the HND. Over the course of the NC, I applied for jobs, got a few interviews and NOTHING! No big deal, right? Yeah, well I went onto the HND. I won't lie, it was a bit of a struggle and I even contemplated jumping out of the course as it took me out of my comfort zone on plenty of occasions. In the end, I passed with a C, while everyone else around me got B's and A's and to add salt on the wound, the very biased and egotistical lecturer I had (whom I was not too fond of if it wasn't obvious) stated "you were only 2 marks away from a B".
By the end of the course though, I attended an interview, obviously by this point in my life, I was sending out CV's, writing Cover Letters and kissing up to companies like they were about to put me out of my misery of finding a job. And I attended this interview at a place called Caledonian Produce. It's a shitehole and everyone who works there won't say differently. You packaged salads in a dull, cold factory which then get sent to Marks & Spencer's where old people may purchase them and suffocate on any creepy crawly or piece of plastic that found its way into the salad.
Now, this is annoying part, I attended the interview, which was a group interview, so I assumed we all had a chance at this. A lot of them looked like school leavers, some were adult junkies, some where lassies younger than me, caked in fake-tan! Surely I wasn't the worst looking person there. Aye, I maybe had a bit of lengthy hair at the time, but I at least dressed nice for it, which was more than I could say for everyone else - believe me when I say, I stuck out, I really did. It was a little awkward. But I did everything extremely courteous and well mannered.
In real life, I AM a friendly person and I'm sure this blog is giving you the opposite perspective, only cos I'm a little angry with life.
But anyway, I get home after this 8 hour group interview (which you get paid for) and later I found out I didn't get the job. Now that's a little soul-crushing, I think anyone would agree with that. Two weeks later, just as my course is in it's final days, I get a phone call in the middle of the class asking if I'm still looking for work. Naturally with the Summer rolling in, I saw yes. And BOOM - I'm working for Caledonian Produce.
BUT - The thing that pisses me off is, I didn't get it first time. What does that say to me? That I'm not good enough to be your first choice, only an option for when someone cancels. And since then, I haven't been able to help but feel like that. Because no matter how many times I shape up my CV and no matter how many times I do an interview, I just never seem to be "good enough" to work for some company.
I've been interviewed for McDonalds, GAME, NEXT, Smyths Toys, Falkirk Stadium - All local and great companies in their own respect. If I had gotten each or any of those jobs, that would look impressive on my CV, but we can't mark where we've been interviewed in the past, only places we've worked. Either I was apprently good enough to potentially get a job at these places or employers get a sick kick out of interviewing me just to shoot me down and I can't help but think the latter.
But I continue with live regardless, I went on to do the HND Sound Production, but the HNC was stressfull enough that my dreams of being a Composer are no more. I finished the HND to finish the HND, I wanted to finish what I had started and in doing so - I have a snazzy wee Diploma. It's nice and I love it, but I ain't really gonna use it.
Saying that though, I am currently creating a showreel to apply for Sound Designer jobs. Why? Because I might as well and even though my Self-Esteem is low enough that I feel I won't get any jobs like that or jobs at all, I'm still continuing.
In the end? The job market is a horrible place. Sure many jobs are available and there actually is plenty to apply for, not many of us have gotten any, we may all feel like we're the most Unemployable person in the world.
What's even more depressing is everyone around me is doing much much better than myself. That's good for them, but I also want to become "Successful Independent Individual" - something I was once scared to be. For the last four or so years, I have been more willing to work than most individuals who actually have a job and what have I got to show for it? Nothing. Almost every month now, it seems like everyone on my Facebook who doesn't have a job eventually gets one. Happy ending, right? For them maybe. In the end, I don't know anybody else who's been looking for a job for a total of 4 years with no real luck and sure, I worked at Caledonian Produce in 2012, but like I said, I wasn't their first choice.
Now it's 2014 and I'm no closer to getting a job. I began volunteering at a local Charity Shop in April and a month later, I added the job and experience to my CV and began getting it out there, I was instantly offered an interview at Smyths Toys - You could imagine how excited I was. This was a place I knew I could be passionate in - it sells toys, boardgames, videogames, Lego - the lot. If there's one thing my friends no me for is that I'm Toy/Videogame-daft and not only have I been in Smyths often, I know the entire shop floor like the back of my hand. And with my recently gained Experience, I felt like I was a shoe-in to work there.
The interview day was different than I imagined. I was seated in the employee lounge till the interviewer arrived. That day set off a few alarms. Firstly - the employees, they looked as if they had lost all care in the world, no appreciation or passion for what they were done, just the bored look that filled their eye sockets with despair, as if they know they are working in a dead-end job as some would call it. Despite which, they were generally friendly and overly Scottish, which was nice seeing as too many jobs round here and cluttered with Polish people who aren't sociable or friendly. Also I feel I should mention the interviewers shirt looked like it was going to pop open, which would have been awkward and I hope the fact I dressed overly nice for the interview with a shirt that actually fit me made him feel dirty. I did the interview as best to my ability, I researched the place like mad (but not a lot of information stays in my head) and he said I'd hear by phone if I got it and e-mail if I didn't.
A week past and I got neither, I eventually had to phone them to find out myself. Can you guess the outcome? Of course you can. At this point, my story is pretty obvious.
Here is my life cycle: See Job >> Apply to Job >> Get Rejection or Interview >> FAIL >> Repeat!
Now? Now I guess I just keep applying, now that I'm also on Job Seekers Allowance, how can I get any lower, eh? Only thing I can do is improve my CV and keep submitting till an employer submits and just gives me a job - probably not in this lifetime though.
Still, if your an employer and your reading this and you think I have the experience, I URGE you to contact me, because this blog is mostly a rant at the past and present and does not represent me in my usual way. I am mostly a positive person with big aspirations and dreams. A friendly person who can't hold grudges and be mad at people and someone who obviously keeps trying, even when the odds are clearly against them.
Below you'll find my CV:
Page 1 and Page 2
And Page 3
Any Job hints, tips and secrets you want to share with me? Comment below or counter-rant and tell me how boring/awful/shit my Blog was! Alternatively if you have me on Facebook, you can do that!
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